Burn the bridges down

My life's brainwashing

I grew up in the Mormon faith.
Was forced into hours upon hours of study in this faith
4 years of seminary in high school,
1 1/2 hours every other day of coercion at it's finest,
Taught by men I neither trusted, nor wanted in my life,
At least 3 hours every Sunday spent at church, in addition
to only being allowed to read or watch "church approved" (parent church approved) material.
Not even allowed to ride my bike, or play a simple game of chess.
Cards were of the devil, they promoted gambling,
Toy guns promote war,
Gosh dang it, was too closely sounding of GOD DAMMIT!
Forced to spend every Monday night with the Root of all this indoctrination
My father,
Who insisted the world revolves around said church
Every Wednesday night given to youth activities in the church,
all things made and designed by the church to create situations in
which members are forever dependent upon it for their happiness.
Thinking that it has the answers to all the questions that come in life,
but that's a ridiculous idea, because it is of men, and no matter how
much a man can claim to know the key to your happiness, or your well-
being. He doesn't. He can't know everything.
There is no such thing as a cookie-cutter philosophy as to how to be happy
made for everyone. It doesn't exist.
And if you believe it does.
Then I'm sorry, but you're just another one of the fools caught in their web.

How many hours were wasted forging this foundation of my life?
How many bricks were lain down because I wasn't allowed to think freely?
This foundation that for years I believed was so strong.
How is it, that it could be shattered so easily once I allowed myself to ask why?
To ask why the God that I was always told so fully loved me and everything that I
am, and everyone around me. Was also the same God that allows children to starve,
that allows people to die that don't deserve it, whilst letting rapists and murderers
walk freely among the nations.
Pastors, and religious leaders have been known to blame all bad things on the devil, and all
good things are given to God as proof of his benevolence.
But in the same breath, they teach that God is more powerful than the devil, that good will
always triumph over evil.
But if that truly is the case. Why the HELL can't God stop the plagues, the disease, the sickness,
the wars, the poverty, WHY does he sit back on his heavenly chair, and simply dance the
puppeteers dance. Pulling the strings on his dearest marionettes. His key players in this sick
game he plays simply because he's bored.

No God would force you to wear special underwear because it will "protect you from evil"
Or make you wear ridiculous costumes whilst learning hand signals given through covert
organizations such as the Masonic Rituals.
And what need does a God have for 10%, or any percentage for that matter, of humanity's monetary gains. Considering he creating everything right? So if he really needs it that bad, he could just take it, or better yet, create it for himself.
The 10% is the summation of the greed of old men, who sit in their high chairs, whispering and watching. Laughing as they have the whole world affixed to their view. Their word is law, people would do just about anything if they told them it's what "God" commanded.

Each day I scramble to rebuild.
To pick up the pieces, and try to figure out this puzzle.
To pull the right bricks from the pile,
not wanting to rebuild with toxic ideas of the original build
Each day I'm affected
Each day I'm haunted
I can't forgive
I can't forget
I can't pretend that it's all okay
I can't discern who are just the liars, and who are just  being lied too.
Who know, but don't care,
and who care but don't know
My world shattered the day I learned the truth
But I'd never go back.
I was happy then,
Not so much now.
But still I'd rather live in pain each day,
with my eyes wide open,
Than die with a smile on my face
But my eyes glued shut.

Afraid to be alone

I am two
and yet I am one
No one will be left
When this journey is done

Everyone will leave
They'll all walk away
My voice calling from the corner
Begging them to stay

A voice barely above a whisper
An emotional shout upon deaf ears
Shadows forming, as darkness closes
Bringing to forefront reality,
All of my fears.

Afraid to be alone,
But afraid to get to close
Cause when someone knows it all
That's when it'll hurt the most

I want to be included
To not be forgotten
But in isolation I stay
Bitter and growing rotten

So I stand at the crossroad
Do I remember, or do I forget
Live this life as promised,
and continue in regret
Silent as I watch
The world will pass me by
Simply as they walk away
No-one to see me cry

Humanity is weakness
When imposed upon by society's narrow views.
Release that feral nature.
Be as nature intended
We do not rule this world
And the mere thought that we do
Shows exactly how narrow,
and short-minded we have become

Only Gods rule
Inside us we have the potential of a God
Society hinders that progression
Imposing laws and codes
Clipping our wings,
When we just need to fly


Rule
Become a God

Rules

With a future of possibility
Cold lies are sold
That we can be what we want
That it's our story to be told.

This world is unforgiving
if you make the wrong choice
If you seek to shatter the mold
It will silence your voice.

We're born as if free.
But instantly ushered into the system
Getting in line, with everyone else
Taught the rules  of life
As given by those already living
The living-dead
Physically alive,
but intellectually decayed
Consequences we live with
Under choices others made
But who was it that started it all,
and why did they do it

Why do we live
If what we are doing is really living at all?

Sick of this world
The lies that they tell
Promising happiness
In the products they sell

Not caring what it is they're giving
To a public whose intellect is drained
These people just want their success
No matter the cost, or who is maimed

Seeking money
Seeking fame
So others will know
and can remember their Name

It's all self preservation
Hidden by pretense of charity
Children are not simply born
They're bought as symbols in hypocrisy

This is all a Game

This life is a game
A giant chess board
But which piece are you,
are you just a pawn?
a knight? a bishop?
Or perhaps the queen?
Very few can rise to become the king.

This life truly is kill or be killed,
in recent years it's become more of a metaphor,
rather than the physical killing of the weak by the strong,
but is that really progress,
now we're overpopulated by pawns,
and are lacking in knights and rooks.

We need a thinning of this mediocre herd,
the cattle of humanity,
The sheep that know only how to conform,
The fat, the lazy, the ignorant, and intolerant,
The ones who delude themselves that they deserve the kings share,
but work as pawn, live as a pawn,
and should be sacrificed as a pawn

Darwin shall be established
In the new order of creation
As the dawn of a new era arrives
The die has been cast
and I'll play this game
This game of life,
My gaze is the world
My being as a God to the mere mortals
The mere beings who seek meaning in a meaningless world
Hope is the illusion of the wanting
The wanting of those not willing to grasp
Not willing to take
Not willing to become

Dear pawn in life
Rise up and take your sword
Seek and destroy
Claim your reward
But if you die
Left with nothing but a name
That means you were just too weak
To play any part in this game

New mask

Usher in the new year.
Don a new mask
Realize the lies of your life
Reanalyze the next task

This mask
This disguise
Deceive this troubled world
Pull the wool down over their eyes

Fit the mold
But never conform
Father strength around you
Awaken the storm

Lightning will crash
And the fires will burn
Floods will rise
The blood still churn

So in this next moment,
Next day and year.
My mask will be worn
A mask to fear

Whispering voice

A whispered thought
To the grave I must keep
Hearts worn on sleeves
Cause grown men to weep
So I'll hide it away
in the recesses of the void
Where none can approach
Piercing gazes to avoid
Living is to lie
Lying is to live
Layer upon layer of defense
A castle built in tyrannical rage
Guarding the dragon's chest
A treasure, knowledge bade
In his tomb, forever laid

Together

It's the Red and the Blue
A deep purple, Royalty's hue
The wolf led as a loyal soul
A tiger, seeking power and control
The black of the yin
and white of the yang
A balance within like
I want to obtain
A lover,
A fighter,
A lifter,
A writer,
Seeking the crown
Both desire it
Together they're the heir
Heir to earth's throne
Together they must inherit
They can't do it alone.

My shadow, My curse

Who is this man I see
Staring so eerily back at me
He is the ghost
The image of my nightmare

You're nothing but a shadow
A reflection, my rival
It's a race against time
Who will win
Who will be the king,
and who will be the horse.

Why can't I hide from you
Why won't you hide from me
I don these masks to run away,
and yet, you're still there,
ever staring at me

I see you
I hate you
Try as I try
I can't pass you
You stay right there with me
Staring with those cold dead eyes
Those eyes I desperately despise
Leave
Vanish
You're all I must banish
For without you,
There'd be nothing in my way,
Nothing to stop my progress
Day after day.

You will die
and with you my pain
My doubts, my shame
You are the embodiment of regret
My insecurity and fear
Rise I will,
Don my armor I shall
and Strike you at the core,
Until your blood has spattered the floor.

In that moment, all will be silent
The calm before the storm

How to Rise

Why is it I feel this way
This need to belong
To be a part of this troubled time,
this darkened world

Where good is seen as evil
and Evil is good.
Higher powers seeking control
our attention chained to the devices in our pockets
Slowly sapping our ability to think freely
To have an imagination is but a rarity
To conform is now a commonality
To be one with the group,
rather than speaking out as a lone voice
Freedom to think
as all but been taken away,
by the voices who shout tolerance,
but our intolerable to an opposing idea
The hypocrites simply multiple,
while the sincere dwindle.

There is a darkness rising
Creeping just out of view
Tainting each and every mind
Darkening their hearts
Their vision is now blind
Link upon link
Chains strengthen their hold
Holding us down
Pulling us down
How to escape.
How to break these chains.
How to rise

No turning back

My days are numbered
Eventually they'll end
There's no turning back
It's time I can't bend
Each choice I've made
I can't reverse
I must live in their consequence
I must die by their curse
The trust I have given
Returned nothing but lies
Luring me To false security
Of which I despise
There's no hope in moving on
No chance in going bacK
The world keeps spinning onward
A life is a mere speck by time's attack

Crimson

Crimson vision
A vengeance unseen
Born from clear reason
Clarity, obscene
This anger
This hate
A lust for power
A desire to create
Ashes must fall
In darkness all must burn
People too often forget
Humanity yet again must learn
There's a peace
Wrought thru fear
Fear of Annihilation
Priorities become clear
This vision, and goal
Built upon ash and bone
I'll ride the crimson tide
To the stalwart throne

Sick of it All

Sick of the pressure

Sick of the shame

Sick of being just a pawn in this game

Sick of dissappointment

Sick of the pain

Sick of the ignorance and lack of fame

Sick of this world

Let's set it aflame

Sick of not having what's mine to claim

Sick of this burning

Bursting through my frame

Unleash the madness

The beast can't be tamed

On the Edge

I'm standing at the edge
Waiting for a push

On This Day

On this the day of my birth
I have learnt the extent of my worth
This sum being so small
Stuck in humanity's weakness
Immobilized by emotion's call.

I am but a man
Held in the chains of my conscious
Shackled by the whims of the heart
Feelings.
Weakness.
Weakest muscle of the body,
The human heart.
So fragile, broken so easily.
A substance of affection,
But by my standard, simply an affliction

Humanity
My infection
The disease, born of the heart
The Cure is unknown to me
I wish only to be free of this curse
Break these chains that bind my wings
Let my fly
Let me rule
Let me become more

The world is rotten,
Overcome by the same affliction
Humanity, a curse of us all.

Alone

Here I walk alone
This road paved by lies
Deceit hid in worldly greed
Forced to simply avert my eyes
Blinded and forced to bleed
Here I walk alone
Surrounded by shrouds of black
Shadows circling every step I take
Closer and closer, coming to attack
Gaining ground,  closer forcing me prostrate
Here I walk alone

It's a single path,
From point A to B
There is no chance to deviate
only an illusion of choice in the matter,
But knowing the end result
shows the true insignificance of such choices
All fall away in the face of certain death.
Struggling is futile, fruitless, a waste
Religions created as a way to explain it all
To give reason to the irresolute truth of life
There's none
There's one chance,
and it will end the same as all else
With no way left to change it
I'm left here walking

Here I walk alone

Societal Mask

There is a darkness in all of us
We each have it,
that dark place in our minds, our hearts,
The place we hide from others,
we hide for fear of rejection.
Because that part of us isn't part of social acceptance.
The tolerance of society is so wanting,
That we can't show even half of our true selves,
instead we wake up,
look at our reflection in the mirror,
we see our true selves,
and before we leave, we don our masks
the masks of this world,
The masks of societal acceptance,
just so we can "fit in" with the mold,
Something developed by men who "know better"
One's who would have all free thought extinguished,
and all the Radicals thrown behind bars for their need to think.
But what were we given brains for, if not to be able to have free thought.
To be coerced into one frame of thought,
is to have a cell with iron bars,
erected within your own mind.
and along with that cell would come a sickness,
a plague upon ones heart,
For without free thought,
without the passion and belief behind it,
motivation fails,
love fails,
Life fails.
All because we have a need,
A need for a false sense of security,
the "protection" given from being just another mask in the crowd,
Not standing out, because we know that if one were to rise above the rest
they'd be instantly shoved back down.
There is no protesting, there is no standing up,
There is only obedience, only staying within the rules of your role,
and fulfilling that role until the day you die.
You can't go back,
you can't try again.
There's a strict timeline that you have to follow.
It begins with birth,
you learn, you are coerced into a social view,
compounded by media, teachers, organizations, music,
friends, everything, until you're forced to a point,
where there is no room for doubt,
Because that's all you know,
That's all you can know.
And so you fulfill the role your given,
without question as to why, or what,
Just the knowledge that, that's all there is for you,
That's all you have to do.
And eventually your journey will end,
Death is the end,
If that's all there is to everything.
If we are mere meager members of society,
controlled as puppets laden with a multitude of strings,
each manipulated by the mystic puppet masters of life.
If we really have no choice..
What then is freedom?
What then is being free?
What then does it mean to be alive?

What is the meaning

What really is the meaning in this life.
If there is a meaning at all?
Does it really begin at birth?
Does it really end at Death?
No. There would be no point if that were the case.
This is just another stage in our ever evolving existence.
What then is this God that so many religions refer to?
God? Allah? Jehovah? Buddha?
Really just the next stage in our evolution.
The next higher intelligence. Leading us to become as they are.
How did they achieve their higher state?
Did they struggle in life, and unlock the mystery,
or is it actually an achievement only brought about in death?
Is that the real test? The test of who is willing to step beyond the veil,
to take that leap into the unknown. And become more.
Why then is there the struggle forced upon us in this existence.
Humanity's flaw, is it's belief that we are. That we possess anything.
Everything we have can be taken away, does that not mean that we really have nothing.
But to truly have something, that would mean that it could not be taken from us.
and yet we limit ourselves in the way we think. Even our ideas aren't really ours,
they are simply a combination of the experiences, the ideas, the plots thrown at us since birth.
We are creatures of experience.
We celebrate at birth.
We Mourn at death.
We laugh, we complain, we cry, we cheer, we show such a variety of emotions, each of which is
caused by our experiences. We are taught what is appropriate for a given situation.
The very words we use to express our feelings are simply a way of constriction to allow understanding between us.
When discovering new things, we always want to know what it's called, what's it's name. We use the words to describe what something is.
But that limits it's capabilities.
Prescribing a label, in turn sets boundaries, because once the label is imprinted, there is a certain expectation that it will stay within the confines of such a label.
 The label of a race, a country, a religion, a class, a sect, a career, a school, any kind of organization, using any labels instantly tell people about you, what you are without you having really given them any evidence to support the fact. Simply because in their experience they met someone who fit into the same category, that you just gave them, leads them to believe that you are the same. But that's not possible, no two people are the same, so how can we allow ourselves to be fooled by the labels. By the confines of such  a program as classification. Simply because you believe something, does not make it so. By that definition, even if you are to set a label, you're setting yourself unavoidably for failure, because as soon as that label is proven to be wrong, your beliefs will be shattered, your world will be shattered, you won't know what to think, what to believe, and you'll wander, searching, and settling, because eventually you'll give up in your search, deciding it's too hard. It's too much to handle. Our brains are too fragile it seems to accept that life really has no meaning but to be an experience to add to our existence. Who's to say we haven't been thrown through countless lives before, but we didn't achieve what we were sent to achieve, so instead of making the ultimate progress we were recycled, sent back to try again.
Makes me wonder if I've sat here searching for these same answers, time and time again, and yet because of the curse of time, have not yet been able to unravel the mystery that eludes me.
Our minds have been able to create worlds upon worlds, and allowed abilities, and phenomenon to come about in our stories, in our media. But why haven't we been able to unlock the true potential that is humanity.
Why haven't we been able to push past the limits that are in our mind?
Because of what we're taught.
For years we were taught it's impossible for men to fly, but eventually people created planes and found a way to fly.
We couldn't see at night, or warm ourselves when it was cold. But we created clothes, and fire, and electricity.
We in our pursuits have created so much that has progressed our lives to such an extent, that now, people seem to be content.
Wasting away there lives on their phones, on the simplicity of mindless games, becoming the reincarnation, of the brainless neanderthols. Reverting us back in time. not truly allowing us any progression at all.
Is this really our fate? To allow time to reverse our progression, simply because of generations coming that desire to be lazy, and have everyone else to everything for us?
NO. This is not the case.
There is no way that we can allow this world to continue the way it has.
We must reawaken the minds of the world
We must change the course of humanity.

Anytime you say you can't, you instantly confine yourself farther, until eventually you will have caused yourself to be a failure, not willing to achieve anything further than what you can comprehend.

Time is relentless,
It continues marching forward without ever slowing.
There is no delay in it's progress.
Lives beginning and ending in the same instant,
have no effect whatsoever on it.
It is unfeeling, unflinching, and unavoidable.
One day we will die
Time will stop for no man
Everything we have will wither away with time.
So with the time you do have, do everything you can