My mind

The recesses of my mind,
Tell the story of my life.
A darkened sense of justice,
A boy too frightened to do what he feels.
Held back by a fear of rejection,
Held back by a fear of rebukes.
When in his heart of hearts, he knows it all doesn't amount to anything.
Because in the end, we all die, his life will end.
And when it does, no one will remember.
Who he was, or what he stood for.
So why does he care.
Why does he continue to work for things.
His mind and his heart battle,
Logic vs emotion. Neither seeing eye to eye.
Neither caring too.
The boy desires to inspire,
to bring about a great good,
but also wants control, power, the world.
The mind finds the heart to be a hindrance,
the Heart wants the mind to understand.
He loves, He hates, He Plots, He debates.
This child, possessed as a creature of Hell.
Slowly being given over the tantalizing anger,
The beautiful hate of this world.
and the Desire of it's destruction.
He's lived this world of lies for far too long.
Lacking the knowledge of whether any truth exists at all.
There has to be an end.
He needs an end of the lies, He needs the truth,
He needs a reason to believe.
Slowly sinking, steadily in darkness,
given over to hate, given over to intent,
Given to a need for power, a need to be in control.
This craving, vengeance against those who would hurt,
vengeance against The God who created such atrocities.
Vengeance against the world.
and if it be that to exact this vengeance will destroy him,
So be it.