Burn the bridges down

My life's brainwashing

I grew up in the Mormon faith.
Was forced into hours upon hours of study in this faith
4 years of seminary in high school,
1 1/2 hours every other day of coercion at it's finest,
Taught by men I neither trusted, nor wanted in my life,
At least 3 hours every Sunday spent at church, in addition
to only being allowed to read or watch "church approved" (parent church approved) material.
Not even allowed to ride my bike, or play a simple game of chess.
Cards were of the devil, they promoted gambling,
Toy guns promote war,
Gosh dang it, was too closely sounding of GOD DAMMIT!
Forced to spend every Monday night with the Root of all this indoctrination
My father,
Who insisted the world revolves around said church
Every Wednesday night given to youth activities in the church,
all things made and designed by the church to create situations in
which members are forever dependent upon it for their happiness.
Thinking that it has the answers to all the questions that come in life,
but that's a ridiculous idea, because it is of men, and no matter how
much a man can claim to know the key to your happiness, or your well-
being. He doesn't. He can't know everything.
There is no such thing as a cookie-cutter philosophy as to how to be happy
made for everyone. It doesn't exist.
And if you believe it does.
Then I'm sorry, but you're just another one of the fools caught in their web.

How many hours were wasted forging this foundation of my life?
How many bricks were lain down because I wasn't allowed to think freely?
This foundation that for years I believed was so strong.
How is it, that it could be shattered so easily once I allowed myself to ask why?
To ask why the God that I was always told so fully loved me and everything that I
am, and everyone around me. Was also the same God that allows children to starve,
that allows people to die that don't deserve it, whilst letting rapists and murderers
walk freely among the nations.
Pastors, and religious leaders have been known to blame all bad things on the devil, and all
good things are given to God as proof of his benevolence.
But in the same breath, they teach that God is more powerful than the devil, that good will
always triumph over evil.
But if that truly is the case. Why the HELL can't God stop the plagues, the disease, the sickness,
the wars, the poverty, WHY does he sit back on his heavenly chair, and simply dance the
puppeteers dance. Pulling the strings on his dearest marionettes. His key players in this sick
game he plays simply because he's bored.

No God would force you to wear special underwear because it will "protect you from evil"
Or make you wear ridiculous costumes whilst learning hand signals given through covert
organizations such as the Masonic Rituals.
And what need does a God have for 10%, or any percentage for that matter, of humanity's monetary gains. Considering he creating everything right? So if he really needs it that bad, he could just take it, or better yet, create it for himself.
The 10% is the summation of the greed of old men, who sit in their high chairs, whispering and watching. Laughing as they have the whole world affixed to their view. Their word is law, people would do just about anything if they told them it's what "God" commanded.

Each day I scramble to rebuild.
To pick up the pieces, and try to figure out this puzzle.
To pull the right bricks from the pile,
not wanting to rebuild with toxic ideas of the original build
Each day I'm affected
Each day I'm haunted
I can't forgive
I can't forget
I can't pretend that it's all okay
I can't discern who are just the liars, and who are just  being lied too.
Who know, but don't care,
and who care but don't know
My world shattered the day I learned the truth
But I'd never go back.
I was happy then,
Not so much now.
But still I'd rather live in pain each day,
with my eyes wide open,
Than die with a smile on my face
But my eyes glued shut.

Afraid to be alone

I am two
and yet I am one
No one will be left
When this journey is done

Everyone will leave
They'll all walk away
My voice calling from the corner
Begging them to stay

A voice barely above a whisper
An emotional shout upon deaf ears
Shadows forming, as darkness closes
Bringing to forefront reality,
All of my fears.

Afraid to be alone,
But afraid to get to close
Cause when someone knows it all
That's when it'll hurt the most

I want to be included
To not be forgotten
But in isolation I stay
Bitter and growing rotten

So I stand at the crossroad
Do I remember, or do I forget
Live this life as promised,
and continue in regret
Silent as I watch
The world will pass me by
Simply as they walk away
No-one to see me cry

Humanity is weakness
When imposed upon by society's narrow views.
Release that feral nature.
Be as nature intended
We do not rule this world
And the mere thought that we do
Shows exactly how narrow,
and short-minded we have become

Only Gods rule
Inside us we have the potential of a God
Society hinders that progression
Imposing laws and codes
Clipping our wings,
When we just need to fly


Rule
Become a God

Rules

With a future of possibility
Cold lies are sold
That we can be what we want
That it's our story to be told.

This world is unforgiving
if you make the wrong choice
If you seek to shatter the mold
It will silence your voice.

We're born as if free.
But instantly ushered into the system
Getting in line, with everyone else
Taught the rules  of life
As given by those already living
The living-dead
Physically alive,
but intellectually decayed
Consequences we live with
Under choices others made
But who was it that started it all,
and why did they do it

Why do we live
If what we are doing is really living at all?

Sick of this world
The lies that they tell
Promising happiness
In the products they sell

Not caring what it is they're giving
To a public whose intellect is drained
These people just want their success
No matter the cost, or who is maimed

Seeking money
Seeking fame
So others will know
and can remember their Name

It's all self preservation
Hidden by pretense of charity
Children are not simply born
They're bought as symbols in hypocrisy

This is all a Game

This life is a game
A giant chess board
But which piece are you,
are you just a pawn?
a knight? a bishop?
Or perhaps the queen?
Very few can rise to become the king.

This life truly is kill or be killed,
in recent years it's become more of a metaphor,
rather than the physical killing of the weak by the strong,
but is that really progress,
now we're overpopulated by pawns,
and are lacking in knights and rooks.

We need a thinning of this mediocre herd,
the cattle of humanity,
The sheep that know only how to conform,
The fat, the lazy, the ignorant, and intolerant,
The ones who delude themselves that they deserve the kings share,
but work as pawn, live as a pawn,
and should be sacrificed as a pawn

Darwin shall be established
In the new order of creation
As the dawn of a new era arrives
The die has been cast
and I'll play this game
This game of life,
My gaze is the world
My being as a God to the mere mortals
The mere beings who seek meaning in a meaningless world
Hope is the illusion of the wanting
The wanting of those not willing to grasp
Not willing to take
Not willing to become

Dear pawn in life
Rise up and take your sword
Seek and destroy
Claim your reward
But if you die
Left with nothing but a name
That means you were just too weak
To play any part in this game